Seriously don't come at me tongue first! No one likes that, it's just gross!

Don't shove your tongue down my throat.

Look I'm not your MAMI, that's just gross.

Get a dictionary and read it.

I understand if you don't have A bunch of money to spend. Don't take me to a place then give me a budget!  If you don't have the money to go there in the first place, take me somewhere else, cook, wait until PAYDAY, find a free activity, there are plenty of options besides taking me somewhere and giving me budget.

On the topic of money....Check your BANK ACCOUNT so your card doesn't decline, that's embarrassing for both of us. 

Don't insist that I pay. BRING MONEY, don't wait until the end of the evening to tell me you don't have any money.

Please don't close the door in my face, that's rude no matter what the situation.

Do not tell me your WHOLE LIFE story. YES I am there looking to get to know you but I don't need or want to hear everything that has ever happened in your life time on this one date.

One of my favorite ways to refer to men's behavior is to say “he's peacocking out”. Male peacocks put on a display and strut around to attract the female peacock. Human males display the same actions, it's not impressive it just makes me laugh! (This one can stay if you just want to give me a hilarious first and only date)

I don't want sit in the car for 20 minutes playing the “What do you want to do game” Have a plan, if you want me to choose ask me a couple of days in advance.

HYGEINE! Shower, dress nice, brush your teeth. If I can smell your breath as soon as I get in the car, I'm out. Also what happened to looking nice on a date, don't pick me up in dirty clothes.

We aren't “hanging out”, it's a god damn date.

Don't bring your friends, don't ask to bring your friends, don't INVITE me to hang out with you and your friends. If we are still getting to know each other, I don't want to have to pretend I like your friends.

Play on your phone and I'm leaving

Don't get emotional! One date does NOT make you my boyfriend, it's a good chance I don't like you anyways.

Because we went on a date I am NOT obligated to kiss you, let you touch me, or go home with you.

Talking up the idea of a relationship but really you are just looking to sleep with someone is rude and gross. Be honest with me, so I don't waste my time.

Spending the entire date telling me what is wrong with you, and whining about why girls don't like you is unattractive. Your streak of girls not liking you will continue.

On the flip side telling me how amazing you are and how you are a God in human form....just as unattractive and boring!

I hate men with lady eyebrows

I'm not a child, and I have full use of the English language.....Don't talk for me, because I will change my mind with whatever it is you just said.

Having a routine for every date. I can tell you are just going through the motions and saying the lines you've rehearsed.

Watch the game on your own time, don't waste mine.

I won't call you daddy

Get wasted on the date.....lose my number and forget my name.

Show up high, or try to get high on the date....also lose my number and forget my name.

Cool you have kids, I don't need to see or hear all about them on a first date.

Being rude to show your manliness....stop peacocking out! I promise you that no one likes it.

Pull your pants up!

Had a good time? Tell me before I go home. I despise the 5 minute after we part ways text with a novel about how much you enjoyed the night.

Pet names before we are dating, makes me hate your face.

Look dude I'm not your bro, I'm a lady,

If we are texting, don't send an unrequested dick pic. I'm sorry guys no girl likes that except the girls who will give you something extra, if you catch my drift **STD's**

Married? Get out of here.....

Want to impress me and look cool? Don't do it while driving, I WANT TO LIVE!

I'm not shallow BUT if we meet online and you have a physical or mental ailment, give me a heads up! If you have a studder so bad I won't know what you are saying, TELL ME! If you walk funny, are in a wheelchair,missing a limb, TELL ME! We will probably still go out, but I need to know these things.

Meeting your family or kids before we are dating? I call that a big ass red flag.

Lying about your age, profession, criminal history, relationship status? You probably shouldn't because girls get really creepy with the internet.

I do not need to hear an hour of how you are “boyfriend/husband material” Just be you and let me decide.

I also do not need to hear and hour of how you are “father” material.

Yes my cleavage is showing. Yes I wanted them to look nice for a date. Yes you are allowed to look at them. NO you can't stare at them the whole time!