My Date with a Mortician

A night out with my ladies, watching a friends band play and enjoying some drinks. After watching an awesome local band, it was decided we should hit some other bars and enjoy some drinks and people watching.

During the night I get up and stand in line at the bathroom, unlike most girls I went alone. I'm standing there next in line to go in and this very tall, tough looking guy, in all black approaches me really fast. He looks like he should be working as the bouncer in a biker bar. He walks directly up to me, and he's a good foot or foot and a half taller than me, he then just blurts out “Can I take you to dinner sometime?” I had a moment where my brain just kind of went blank because it was so awkward, he was obviously super nervous, and I really had to pee.

So I have kind of a soft spot for the nervous awkward guys, I know some great guys who get super nervous trying to talk to girls. The girls tend to be so mean to them that they kind of shut down. I don't want to be one of those girls, so I tend to be extra nice when the guys are really awkward. I told this guy to just let me give him my number and we can talk and then go from there. He gets pretty happy and pulls out his phone to get my number.

OMG he pulled out the same phone that I had in middle school! It must have been one of the first cell phones. I can't even explain why, but I thought he was homeless because of his phone. I still gave him my phone number, he seemed nice and I had already told him I would. So he puts my number in this dinosaur and sends me a text so that I have his number. Then just takes off. I go back to my friends and enjoy the rest of my evening.

The First Date

After not hearing from this guy I kind of forgot about it, but he finally texts me. He apparently saved his phone number with my name. So now I am thinking, this poor guy is awkward, homeless, and doesn't know how a cell phone works. We start talking and I ask him what he does for a living, trying to find out if my assumptions are correct (you know the homeless thing). He tells me a lot of people get weird about it but he is a mortician. The first words out of my mouth were....I thought you were homeless!

At this point we are getting along and he asks me on a date. We went to dinner and afterwards we grabbed some drinks. Two of my friends crashed the date during the night; which I love. He thought it was cute that they crashed it, and the night ended really nicely.

The Second Date

One night he asks if I want to hang out. I agree to stop by his place and hang out. I get there and he is SOOOO drunk! He continues to share with me all of his deep, dark secrets. He was so drunk when he told me that when I brought it up at a later time, he didn't remember telling me.

If it had been any other guy I would totally share the secrets he told me, but we have become good friends (I friend-zoned him early on). So I won't share his dark personal secrets online.

#Mortician #barhopping #awkwardguys #peoplewatching #darksecrets