Worlds WORST Date

The Introduction

I meet this guy online, his dating profile said he was 38 years old and only picture he had he wasn't terrible looking and he looked in his late 30's. We didn't send many messages before we skipped to texting. During our texting conversation he tells me his name is Brandon G, told me he makes a lot of money, drives some expensive car )I wish I could remember what it was), told me his address (in an expensive neighborhood), that he use to be a pro-baseball player until he was injured, and that he was married for 9 years and him and his wife had a 3 year old daughter. His wife and daughter tragically died 3 years ago. We exchanged Facebook information, he only has the same one picture and next to no information. He looks at mine and see's that Michelle is my “sister”. He tells me that he sent her a message once but that she never responded. So it's a little weird that he told me that, but I just waved it off and would ask more about it later.

Red Flags

After only talking for a few days he asks me to join him for a sushi lunch. Sushi is the way to my heart, it's expensive and delicious. So of course I say “yes”. 15ish minutes before I leave for our date he texts me he is canceling, I ask him why and he tells me he is having a panic attack and can't meet me. I told him okay and not to text me anymore. So a few hours go by and I get an apology text saying that he was scared I wouldn't like him and wants to make it up to me with dinner. I've been having red flags going off since the start, but was waiting to confront them until we meet, because it's harder to lie in person. At this point I have massive red flag alerts, but I love free sushi and I want to confront these red flags.

Awkward Dinner

He texts me that he is sitting on the bench in front of the door, I park get out of my car and there on the bench is an old, old old, old, old, OLD man. I'm thinking to myself, he's ancient and decrepit. I seriously thought about getting back in my car and leaving, but he already saw me. We go inside and sit down, and he says NOTHING to me for 15 minutes. During those 15 minutes these two gentlemen sit down next to me and start flirting with me, and still this Brandon guy says nothing. Finally after 15 minutes he grows a pair and talks to me. He has that old man white crust in the corner of his mouth, I can smell his breath, and he has the worst st-st-studder I have ever heard. Now I am not shallow and would have still talked to him if he told me he had a studder, but that is something you really need to prepare someone for. For the next 10 minutes he keeps bringing up Michelle, and asking what she said about him. He also asks me back to his apartment! None of his stories are matching up and his web of lies are completely falling apart. I make up an excuse and book it to leave. He walks me to my car and leans in to kiss me. I turn my head and try to step back. He then decides it is a good idea to pin me to my car and try to force a kiss out of me. I told him I would punch him in the parking lot if he didn't let go. He got really mad, kind of pushes me, says “fine”, and storms off.

Michelle's Story

I get in my car and rush to Michelle's! I show her the picture and ask her to tell me about him. Michelle tells me that he has been trying to talk to her for years. She did try to talk to him once and he told her that he has NEVER been married, and has no kids! He offered to fly her to dinner for their first date. Other than that he told us the same things, lots of money, expensive car, that he was a pro-baseball player, and his name was Brandon G.

The Confrontation

While I am at Michelle's he texts me telling me he had such a good time, how much he likes me, and so on. I ignore the text hoping he catches on, but sadly no he keeps texting. So I tell him the truth, I didn't have a good time, he lied to me about Michelle, he needs to update his picture, and there is no way he is 38. He tells me that Michelle is wrong and that was him in the picture and he is 38. I'm like I SAW you! You are OLD! I proceed to tell him not to talk to me and end the conversation.

Getting a little creepy

A couple days go by and I get curious about if anything was the truth. So I get a little creepy with the internet. He is a 64 year old man whose name is George S., Brandon is his SON. He also is on no records as an ex-baseball player under either name. I check out the address he gave me and neither last name has ever lived there. He also told me his job was with the state, and once again no records of either name. I shared my findings with Michelle, we shared a good laugh and I thought that would be the end of the story. I saw him 3 months after all of this happened in Walmart, and he full on RAN when he saw me! So I just followed him around, didn't say anything to him or look at him. I just made it as terribly awkward as I could.

#catfished #oldmen #onlinedating #liars #grossguys #seriously